Haw autocorrect plays a vital pole!

If you are reading this right now, you are probably not busty (Oh! There we go again! *Busy, I mean).

Conversing with a business associate regarding a major tender he sent out, “Why don’t we shit together some time, and stalk things out?” Yes, it happened, I lost the deal. That sadist who invented autocorrect! Probably one of my competitors.

Just the other day this stickler friend of mine literally stranger zoned me for mixing ‘your’ with ‘you’re’. It was my fault partially, since I said, “You’re dog” (she read as “You are dog”). When I managed to console her, autocorrect shouldering the blame, I got some advise “Read, my child.. Read, before hitting the send button.” As incorrigible as I am, the saga continues..

A friend of mine received this box from an anonymous sender. Well, who doesn’t like surprises?? An excited me, messaged her (I call her Pant), “What’s in Panty?” (Yeah, autocorrect!!). I never heard from her again. I still wonder, what was in that box… The anxiety kills! Anyways, tallying scores, Autocorrect :3, Me: 0.

Beware, autocorrect has an accomplice: Fuck.. (*Luck).
A professor of mine requested me to send him a picture of the assignment question he improvised in class, which he couldn’t recollect. The great student as  I am, I wanted to be prompt and efficient. I sent him a picture alright (in haste). Luck had it, it was the wrong one: it was my girlfriends picture! And then autocorrect, like one of those DC comic heroes turns up at the right time: “Her ass you requested” (*Here as you requested). Yes, she was pretty, and autocorrect made him an offer really hard to turn down but I wasn’t allowed to enter his class ever again.

Let’s cross to the other side (*story). A distant relative of mine was hospitalized: very serious. The actual discussion that I had with her grandson:

Me: “Hey, are you ok? I heard your (for once I got the your/you’re correct. Hi-five second para friend) grandma has been hospitalized. How is she doing now?”

Him: “Not really good 😦 I hope she gets better”

Me: “ I hope she dies :)”

Him: “ Are you bloody kidding me?? How could you say that?”

Me: “ I typed *does. This phone has that sick autocorrect”

I now have one less relation to maintain. No, his grandma didn’t die. He just never spoke with me thereafter.

So ass you pee..  Not even for a sex have I been spared, ever since autocorrect and I met for the first time… (*sec I mean, Autocorrect wins hands down!!)
Yeah, that’s my story. Spank you 😉